December 8th, 2001



Santarchy was lots of fun.

I was reading about it and thought it sounded like much more fun than sitting at home, but it was happening in another 2 hours and I had no costume. Then I had this urge poke me in the ribs (not much unlike an old girldriend in OK used to do if I tried to go to sleep before she'd had an orgasm) which told me to go to Value Village to look for a Santa suit. I figured they wouldn't have one and ignored it. It poked me again and with slightly less enthusiasm i used to show my old girlfriend, i went off to Value Village in search of an outfit. I looked aorund and couldn't find anything. Nothing Santa-like except for lots of hats, nothing to make a reindeer outfit that wouldn't cost an arm and a leg. I was about to give up when I turned around and in the corner by some old coats...was a Santa suit. Not only that but it was only $6 since everything was half off that day. A quick trip to Champions for a Santa beard and i was set.

Arriving at the Nite Lite till about 70 or 80 santas, elves, and reindeer had showed up then taking off down the street realizing I had already maxed out my normal drinking amount and it was only 8. On the way to the Lava lounge I ran into a Japanese restaraunt and asked for nigori sake which they poured up for me. When I asked what I owed them, they simply said merry Christmas. I went running off only to be chased down by a five year old boy that gave me back my hat which had fallen off while running.

There was a quick succession of bars with chants like "Santa needs a drink", "Santa doesn't pay cover" or "Ho, ho, ho, Santa has to go." Not only were bars being taken over by 70 or 80 Santas but another group dressed as clowns was out so the bars were not only invaded by lots of Santas, but Santas and clowns intent on acting out the fight scenes in the West Side Story. We would have gone into the Lusty lady but they wanted a cover so we ended up in Pioneer Square instead. The drinks were starting to hang heavy on some Santas while others were just getting into the spirit of things. In Fido we got the band to play Christmas carols. Fat-assed Santa took to dancing on top of newspaper machines and last I saw him was in a Medaterrainian restaraunt dancing on a table while some elves were daning on the sidewalk to a street musician.

It was midnight, I was drunk, tired and had forgotten to eat dinner so I headed home leaving all the other Santas at the Owl and Thistle.