November 20th, 2001

drawing

Dreams

I don't remember the begining of the dream very well. It was something about cancer, or a disease, or possibly a chemical agent. There were diagrams and a man with a pointer explaining the effects upon the human body. How parts would separate and form tumors. Sometimes if on the skin, they would actually drop off the body.

Later in the dream, the part that is most vivid I was at a table and talking to others and noticed something odd. I stretched out my hand and flexed my fingers and there was an extra one. It was small and thin and split off from the little finger. It had a couple of joints and would flex if I tried it. Where it ran into the little finger a small mound of yellow translucent flesh (much like the finger itself) ran down the finger and into the hand. This must be the where the tendons and growing bones for the finger are. Overall, it was much like a tarantula leg. Long and skinny, yet without the hair. My roommate has a very large tarantuala and once when it was molting, she was afraid it was dieing and tried to get it to move with a pencil. She tried to hard and it lost a leg. Well, when it molted again a few months later, there was a new leg where the one it had lost was. It was lighter in color and more delicate than the others, but with yet another molting, it returned to normal color and size. Things shouldn't be able to grow back legs, but that's what my new finger reminded me of. If I stretched out my fingers and held up my hand as I did to the others at the table, it was obvious that I had six digits. I stared in wonder at my new digit and flexed it to see my control.

I continued to inspect myself and noticed my arm, the left one, the one with the new finger, was withered and yellow. Nothing remained but bone, a little flesh and folds of skin that handn't shrunk as the flesh did. The folds of the skin bunched up and formed long floppy ridges as if my arm had been vacuumed sealed. In parts of these folds were soft bits of flesh or gristle. Bits that had not gone away but were caught spearate in the skin away from the arm. My arm worked and still had some strength, but felt strange. I knew it was still about as strong as the other one because I remembered doing push ups the day before (actual memory of waking life). I was surprised that I had not noticed its condition earlier.

This could have come about because I do have a cyst on that hand, but on the other side of the hand from the extra finger. Usually when these type of dreams happen, dreams that I can actually almost feel and seem real, it's because of outside conditions. I highly suspect that I was laying on the arm in question and its discomfort was shaping my dream.